What happens when everyone in a book club doesnt like the book?

The Confidence Code Review

Even a dry business book usually has a few good moments or useful takeaways. But what happens when a book club full of smart women all agree the book just didn’t land?

Last week, the She Reads She Leads Book Club read The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. Like all of our selections, this one was chosen by member vote, and it actually had the majority. So I think we were all a little surprised to… well… hate it.

The first few chapters showed promise. Many of us related to the way it described the inner battles we face around confidence. Everyone has moments when they question whether they belong at the table. The book made the point that confidence can be more important than competence when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder. Most of us have seen someone friendly and outgoing get ahead of someone who might be more skilled but keeps quiet.

Then the book dove into “the science” of confidence. Topics like brain chemistry and DNA were brought up repeatedly, but the studies mentioned felt like one-offs. It didn’t feel like any of it was widely accepted or well-supported by the broader scientific community. Many of us felt the book raised an important issue, the confidence gap between men and women, but offered little in the way of solutions. Besides suggesting that we let our daughters play sports and occasionally fail, it didn’t really say how to fix the problem. There was no mention of misogyny or the patriarchy. Even someone like me, without a science background, knows how much of this stems from the expectations society places on women.

Everyone came into this book with high hopes. More than one woman said, “I really wanted to love this book.”

So what do you do when it’s time to discuss a book everyone disliked? You let that shape the conversation. Even if a book misses the mark, there’s still plenty to talk about. We were able to dive into what confidence means to us, why it matters, and how we can nurture it in ourselves and in our kids. The conversation was still rich and insightful, and to me, that’s the whole point of the She Reads She Leads Book Club.